Never stopped loving you?

I had opened just a hint of a peephole

To sneak into those memories of yesteryear

Taken aback by the tsunami of paintings

And motion of live pictures that stormed into my unaware senses

You had tiptoed again that day back into my heart

With just a simple apology

And the futile reminiscing .

Oh how pointless

And unproductive is was!

To recollect those primitive colors

Of life we had known

The two of us together

And yet never near enough

The bond that had slid between our fingers

Like sand slipping helplessly from the gaps

Of shaky, sad hands

Your rage and doubts and mistrust

My tears and fears and screams

It hit me hard that day

When I read you again

How desparately I had loved you

With the intensity and emotions I could never put into words

As if each pining breath of mine

Depended on each loud beat of your heart

And yet we could never hear eachother

Or trust one another

The color of our love was red

Like the blood dripping from separated eyes

The color of our love was crimson

Like fire raging to the skies

Tempestuous and wild and carnal

Oh how I had loved you!

And I am taken aback by

How much it still hurts

After all these years

When you are so far removed in time

And the borders that divide us

It tears me apart that you could move ahead

So easily

So quickly

So swiftly

That you could have forgotten me like someone that never happened to u

I don't know how to feel about

You having found new love

That has blossomed to bliss

Then what curse had struck OUR love?

The question will always remain unanswered

I guess some wanderings of the mind are always supposed to remain unanswered

How vain and fruitless is the thought of- what could have been

And all the "what ifs" that spear through my heart

For I believed no emotion could be as intense as our blind adoration for eachother

It hurts

It hurts so bad

I am sorry I still hurt

It's been years

But it still hurts like yesterday

I am happy for your happiness

But the pain never goes away

I feel consumed with an anger and fury

Directed only at myself

Had I never stopped loving you.....???

 

 

Go away dear love,

Let love fly away

Real love comes again

I will be ok.